Your parents have agreed to help raise your baby. That’s great, and it’s nice to know that your parents can help you out while you try to get on your feet.

Here are some questions to ask see if this arrangement will work for you.

  •  Are my parents going to watch my child while I am in school or at work all day?
  •  Are my parents going to care for my baby when I go out on a date? Are they willing to watch him every Friday, and Saturday night that I go out?
  •  Who is going to make the decision of when my parents watch my baby? When they agree, or whenever I need them?
  •  Are my parents and I comfortable with them taking care of my baby when she has diaper rash, colic, or an ear infection?
  •   Who will take the baby to the doctor: me or my mom?
  • Will my family help me out when I am sick, and can barely move out of the bed?
  • Have my parents agreed to take care of my child when he is 4 years old and is acting…well…like a 4-year-old?
  • Who is going to decide the little things for my baby—my parents or me?It is a little chilly this morning but the weatherman says it will warm up. I think my daughter is fine in the long-sleeved shirt, but my mom says she needs a sweater? Who’s going to decide?

    My son is misbehaving—my mom and I disagree about whether he needs a time-out: So who will discipline him?
  • My mother loves to spoil the other grandkids that she sees on the weekends and gives them chips and soda for a treat. But if she is practically raising my son, she cannot spoil him (otherwise he would be living off junk food). How do I feel about that?
  • I want to go to the movies this Saturday, but my parents are going to a relative’s house and say that it is a “no-kids party.” Who is going to care for my daughter?

Your parents may be overjoyed at the birth of their grandchild, even if they are a bit tired helping to take care of a newborn. But newborns grow into toddlers, and into kids who need to go soccer games and get braces. Have you and your parents agreed to their level of involvement as the years go by?

This is your pregnancy—is this your future or your parents?